the discordian ramblings of robbt erisbright

The hypnotic whirl of the spinning dart board, was distracting the poor revolutionary from concentrating on the task at hand, he took a hit off of his hand-rolled cigarette, and smiled to himself. He motioned to his comrade behind the bar for another brewskie, who was soon at hand with a homebrewed stout, they winked and he knew that soon he would have to pay back the debt he had accrued at this bar, doing what needed to be done. Ever since he was fired from the Petrol plant back in his early teens, Fred had realized a few things about the world, stuff they don't teach you in school, his traditional puritanical upbringing had taught him to never question an authority, fear your superiors and if you always do what they say things will work out, numerous parables had been ingrained into his head, and the games they played were all focused on gaining status via material wealth. But he kept dwelling on his past long enough, tonight was a night for action Damnit, so he tossed down the beer and stumbled back towards the piss-pot. As he reached for the door, he had a drunken realization, or so he thought, 2 seconds later he was unconscious.

His body was melting, melting into the floor, a direct result of the flexibilty reality had been given with the collapse of the atomic government, but although there may be anarchy when it comes to physics, we're still living in a corporate fuedal oligarchy, he spit up and suddenly reappeared, frightening the woman over to the left, who had been trying to play pool with what could of been her boyfriend.

Smiling a devious smile, Fred of the Erisian Liberation Front began to meditate, and as he touched his pineal gland he began to glow, grow and hover about 2.3 cm off of the ground, a jukebox stopped mid-song and began to play, "It's time for Fuckin Revolution" and it was all too much, he began to dance, although it was kind of hard to move when you find yourself not supported by any structure, it's more of a mental thing...

The bar suddendly melted away and he found his world once again in a flux, as if the entire thing was really just a flavour of icecream in a cosmic blender, he looked over and dressed in urban-camo was the girl from the bar, she seemed to laugh at him and then jump up into a crawlspace that had appeared in the void, and they were off...

However this happened, he wasn't quite sure, but then again, in this world no one was ever too sure of anything else they might offend their own heightened sense of the divine Jesus-Burger, as it was found out that indeed the Lord had been born again, but this time something upon his arrival ended up a little screwed up, or said the Fundementalist christians, and so when their savior was born again as a common cattle cow, it wasn't revealed until a few patrons at the McDonalds were shocked and amazed as their half-digested burger began to speak to them telepathically, telling them how they had eaten and slaughtered their lord, and this phenomena grew and grew, pretty soon cows every where were communicating with their eaters, psychologists denounced the whole incident as a hoax and mass hysteria, but when Dr. Laura cooked up a steak for her family and was confronted with the feeling of the son of god being consumed by her stomach enzymes she could only do one thing, nail herself to a cross and begin to blabber asking for forgivness, the spiritual residue that went into the toilets and was regurgitated into the sewage was enough to make 24% of the world's active christian population pantheists, as they soon realized they had taken a shit of jesus, and were now also god, some of them responded with violent reprisals as if armegeddon was happening, this was soon stopped by a group of drunken jesuits who had taken it upon thereself to not eat the burger, but to grow on it a new strain of marijuana called marijesus, this was all ancient history by the time the raid on the chocolate monkey prison was going on it. It was of vital importance that Chim Chim be rescued from a fate worse than barbeque, that of electric chocolate coating and being fed to the demon that had revealed itself as primary stock holder in 93% of all the merged companies. Chim Chim must be freed, so the telepathic operation was a go.

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